Last week’s Clarke and Dawe was the most brilliant one for weeks! It relates to an earlier post here: ‘Pacific solution’ to thank for relaxed detention rules: Ruddock – ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) — among other reports.
BRYAN DAWE, COMEDIAN: Mr Ruddock, thanks for coming in.
JOHN CLARKE, COMEDIAN: It has been too long, Bryan.
BRYAN DAWE: Yes, you have expressed regret this week
JOHN CLARKE: Yes, I have.
BRYAN DAWE: About the length of time the Australian Government held children in detention
JOHN CLARKE: Yes that’s correct.
BRYAN DAWE: When you were in Government.
JOHN CLARKE: Yes that’s right.
BRYAN DAWE: What was your portfolio at the time?
JOHN CLARKE: I was the Federal Immigration Minister.
BRYAN DAWE: And who were the children.
JOHN CLARKE: The children, Bryan, were the children of people seeking asylum in Australia.
BRYAN DAWE: They were put into detention.
JOHN CLARKE: Yes, that’s right.
BRYAN DAWE: Is that normal?
JOHN CLARKE: It was normal at that time, Bryan.
BRYAN DAWE: And now as I understand it you regret that.
JOHN CLARKE: I regret the length of time that those children were kept in detention.
BRYAN DAWE: Yes, and did you speak to the Immigration Minister at the time?
JOHN CLARKE: I was the Immigration Minister at the time.
BRYAN DAWE: So you regret yourself?
JOHN CLARKE: I do not regret myself, Bryan, I regret that those children were not released earlier than they were.
BRYAN DAWE: Why weren’t the children released earlier.
JOHN CLARKE: Because of a lack of funding.
BRYAN DAWE: Oh, so there’s hidden costs in opening a gate, is there.
JOHN CLARKE: That is a facetious remark, Bryan, and I shall ignore it.
BRYAN DAWE: Tell me, what are the costs of letting children out of jail then?
JOHN CLARKE: The children, Bryan, were not in jail.
BRYAN DAWE: What was it called then, this place where children were incarcerated for longer than you now think they should have been?
JOHN CLARKE: The children as I repeatedly said were in detention.
BRYAN DAWE: You would have liked funding for what reason.
JOHN CLARKE: I said I regret, Bryan the fact that we did not have extra funding.
BRYAN DAWE: Yes, but why do you regret that.
JOHN CLARKE: We could have built a better jail. Not for the children…
And so on. They captured The Cadaver style to perfection!